Saying Goodbye.

I can’t stop thinking about you. The way you make me feel when I feel lonely – the way you always know just what to say to give me that ‘hit’ of feel-good-ness. The way you are always there for me…always nearby.

I wonder what is going on when we aren’t connected. I crave just looking at you one more time…

No, this isn’t some sort of sappy romantic “love letter” blog, this is a blog about my relationship with my iPhone.

You see, a couple months ago, I moved to Colorado. I knew 4 people here. I spent time with them, but as soon as I had ‘me time’ I would open up my phone and start searching for friends and scrolling timelines trying to remain connected to what was.

What I slowly realized is that this desire to connect ‘with my friends’ actually was just me building a dependency on my phone and notifications that I craved getting day by day, moment by moment.

I would find myself mindlessly scrolling my phone (even while at work…sorry Chris!) waiting for that next notification, looking for that next photo from a friend back home…looking up random stuff just to feel a sense of connection with someone/something.

That all has started to end…

I took a moment recently to turn off notifications on my phone (other than email and work apps), turn off Siri suggested apps, move all the apps that I spent the most time on to the very last page, and turn off ‘badges’ on my iMessage and Phone Calls. What has this done?

Well, so far, it’s made me a little bit crazy….I still go to the spots on my iPhone where my apps used to live. My thumb finds itself tapping where Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and WhatsApp used to live…at red lights, in long lines, on elevators.

I have also found myself motivated, once more, to write again…hence this blog. (Also, I have been reading more books.)

I have 3 Psalm Series blogs in queue and I am working on getting a backlog to continue posting…I am excited to share those thoughts with you…

But all that being said; I am saying goodbye to my iPhone….at least, a very large aspect of what my iPhone has been for me. It’s been a friend I can’t really connect with. Instead of using it to mindlessly scroll, why not text a new friend and ask to meet up for coffee? Why not use it to look up cool stuff going on here in Colorado Springs and GO THERE!? You know…in public, with other strangers who feel just as awkward going somewhere.

Anyways, I couldn’t get my mind off my iPhone…but slowly, surely, I am making steps to reclaim that space in my mind. To, then, allow my iPhone back into my life…in a healthy way.

If you find yourself, much like me, reaching for your phone time after time…I challenge you to take a step back from that relationship. Evaluate what you really are looking for, and take time (even a little time) every day to focus on people around you….I am doing the same thing.

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