We all have been there (both male and female, I suppose).
We are in a group of people, strangers / friends, it doesn’t matter who they are.
And you’re wrapping up a bible study or retreat..then the question is asked..
“Does anybody have any prayer requests..?!”
Your hands get clammy, your heart skips a beat and you start to get a cold sweat.
You remember what you did last night…even at church camp, or from the comfort of your room/dorm.
The glowing screen still haunts you, still.
In fact, it almost shames you to open your laptop or cell phone anymore..
Everyone goes around, some mention they need freedom from pride, from chains of guilt, shame…etc.
Your turn is coming up..your heart thumps even harder.
You just know people can see your heart beating at the side of your neck.
“I…uhh…I am really bad at looking at (wo)men in a sexual way, I struggle with lust..”
To yourself, you know the truth.
You allowed your eyes, body and heart to feast on porn last night…and many nights prior.
But yet, we call it lust.
Can we call it what it is?
I get it, lust is in the same ‘category’ as porn – but porn does something else to us rather than lust.
We actually see the images that our minds crave…we see the actions being played out.
And our brains, body and flesh LOVE it.
We committed adultery.
Nasty. Gross. Shameful.
“..I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” in Matthew 5:28
But scripture also says:
“..confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” in James 5:16 and that is massively hopeful!
Not being upfront and honest with our sins is doing us a massive disgrace.
We are to confess sin to one another…all of it.
Trust me, I’ve used the ‘lust’ card over and over and over.
I am sick of doing it.
This is the start of something new…calling it what it is.
Being open about my struggles.
Who’s in this with me?